Friday, March 09, 2007
Its been a psychological week. I'm feeling stressed for no particular reason. I don't know, it just comes but definately not as frequent as menstruation. It sucks being the fact that I'm just an ordinary loser secondary school kid with shitty results and don't give a fuck about life, and actually get stress as if Apollo is burning on my shoulders with immerse heat.
Feel like I'm losing my mind real soon. Whats next? My soul being eaten by a Grim Reaper? Hell no thats some crappy way to die. At least I can die in honour if I climb Mount Everest and accidentally tripped my ass to the cold ice and dive into immortality, but no. I don't think humanity is as ever simple as this.
To bring in much insanity and to prove that I'm going crazy, I took a psychological test with my old "Home Psychologist" manual which I found at my grubby database of unread(able) junk and found out that I'm over 50% depressed. And depressed about what? Love life and being Nostalgic. Yeah, Nostalgia. And "Love life" isn't even worth mentioning because why? I never understood love anyway. If they mean "Love life" as in dating and having sex, well yeah, probably all kids are deprived from that.
So they are probably wrong about the love crap, but I guess they were right about me being nostalgic, cause right now I kept wondering what I cound have done if I didn't spend all the shitty time I had during my childhood to play crappy CounterStrike for 6 hours straight as soon as I reach home. I mean, I don't even take a shit when I start playing until I actually stop.
And I looked back at my old self, and sure do I look like a nasty little fucker. Always throwing tantrums and wronging people for no reason. I had a hot temper back then. Although it never happened now, I took anger inside and kept it. Maybe that caused the stres and depression cause as people grow older, they try to think of what other people will think of them if they say the wrong things. Unlike the kiddy days where you can just scream and hurl all the insults you want and you still feel good.
So yeah thats probably the end of my rant. Although I can go further, I'm too tired to continue this word massacre. Good night.
Pissing @ 7:33 AM